Opening the small box the bag of his ashes rests in, running my fingertips over the charred metal tag attached to it. I can look through photos and videos of him, but they all end because his life did. I have 7 months of tangible memories with Klay Thompson Steph Curry Kevin Durant Cartoon Golden State Shirt, and the rest is ‘life after loss. She will tell people about the baby her parents lost before her, repeating what she’s been told of him, how her life has probably felt defined by his death. As they grow, my other children will tell his story. I had a brother,’ they’ll say. Rowan will talk about playing peek a boo, holding him for the first time, making him laugh. Perhaps he’ll tell people about that morning, watching us screaming over his brother’s body. Or maybe he’ll hold that in his memories quietly, to spare others that sadness. Phoenix won’t have memories of our Sloan.
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