The doctor soon confirmed my worst fear – I was miscarrying. I was devastated. It is so hard to describe how it feels. I was so excited but also now understood that this baby wasn’t guaranteed to us. A few weeks later, during a family vacation at the beach, I was grieving the loss of a child but also the loss of what I expected – the MVP Julian Edelman Super Bowl Shirt pregnant belly, the pregnancy announcement, the baby shower, having a newborn at home, and so on. There were nights I would just lay on the floor and cry because I didn’t know what else to do and Bryan didn’t really know how to comfort me. I felt like my body had failed. It took us almost 9 months to get pregnant again using a fertility drug called Clomid (by this time it had been about a year of trying).
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